Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
