He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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