You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
