All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
