Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
