my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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