I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
