I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
