I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
