i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
