he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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