Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
