He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
