NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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