official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
