She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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