dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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