If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
