He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
