i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
