i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this just has baby written all over it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
