I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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