Nicole vs. Life
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
