I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
