I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
