Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
