I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
