if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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