In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
