alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
