Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
