we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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