if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
