We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
