I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
