So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
