You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
