I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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