Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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