No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
