Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
