White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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