Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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