Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
