Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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