No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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