had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
