once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The adults are the big ones right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
