What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Enjoy the penises
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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