I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I smell stomach acid.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
